Your Intended Message

Flip the Fear of Public Speaking: Peter George

Channel the fear of public speaking into positive energy

Competence breeds confidence

Episode 135 (Peter is based in Rhode Island)

In this conversation with Peter George we explore:

• How to channel the fear of public speaking as positive energy
• What's the real fears that create anxiety
• How to control the energy to boost your performance
• Why it's critical to realize that perfection is not the goal
• How changing your focus to the audience makes it easier for you
• Harness the power of visualizing your positive outcome

About Peter George:

Throughout his childhood, Peter dealt with a lisp and a stutter. Consequently, he grew up shy and introverted, avoiding communication with others.

For the past 17 years, he has been coaching professionals to be calm, confident and credible when they speak.

He is the host of the Public Speaking with Peter George podcast.

He is the author of The Captivating Public Speaker, Engage, Impact and Inspire Your Audience Every Time.

Learn more about Peter George and find free resources at...

https://petergeorgepublicspeaking.com/

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Excerpts from this conversation with Peter George:

 

03:55

I imagine not everyone needs to go through the therapy with Cruella and tears every every Tuesday morning. When you work with people, and you help them address the fear of public speaking, where do you start?

 

04:17

First of all, I don't believe there is such a thing. And I say that sort of tongue in cheek, but if we look at why we get nervous about speaking, it's adrenaline.

Our adrenaline's flowing. So George, let's say you and I are going to an amusement park and you love roller coasters. And this amusement park has a brand new roller coaster. It does all these flips and you're hanging from the top and everything else.

And I'm looking at the line and looking at the roller coaster go on. I don't think so. You and I are probably feeling the same thing. You're getting an adrenaline rush and that's what you consider it this is going to be great

Oh, my heart's beating, My blood pressure's up, I'm getting sweaty, I'm so excited to get on this roller coaster, I'm going to be standing there going, this is the last thing in the world, I want to do my heart's racing,

My blood pressure's going up and getting all sweaty. It's adrenaline. Now how we label it might be different. And that's just one aspect of it. But a lot of us are afraid of public speaking, if you will. Because we don't want to make fools out ourselves.

We don't want to be embarrassed. And I certainly get that. Or we, we know that we're not sufficiently prepared, or we don't know how to prepare.

So all these things make us nervous as they should, if you don't know how to do something, and then you have to go do it in front of other people.

It would be me going to Yankee Stadium, having never faced a 90 mile an hour fastball before 50,000 people in the stands, and I'm at home plate. What are the odds, I'm going to hit this ball, slim to none. And I know that.

So I would be nervous up there that I'm going to make a fool out of myself. This might be making it very light. But that's really what it comes down to.

And the idea that public speaking is the greatest fear known to humanity. I don't agree with that either. If you look at studies, it's well behind spiders, snakes, even clowns. So I'm one who's petrified of clowns, by the way.

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16:37

Hmm, and maybe a good mantra to to keep in mind when when people are speaking to heck with them. You don't like it The heck with you.

And Peter, I'm also wondering, I noticed when you you started telling us those two stories about your family, but about first about your your dad to firefighter, and then your your great grandma.

Might that be a technique that a person can use when they're delivering a speech or a presentation by bringing in a personal or a family story?

Because they'll that will automatically make them feel good, because they're talking about something that they care about.

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Write email that Grabs Attention and doesn’t Offend: Liz Danziger

Check your email with the "you idiot" test before you send

How to write emails that are more productive

Episode 134 (Liz is based in L.A.)

In this conversation with Liz Danziger we explore:

• How to write emails that work effectively
• What to check when you reread before sending
• The three P's to prepare your message
• The New York Times and court room guide for emails
• How to write and email that people read
• The right type of emotional language

About Liz Danziger:

Liz is the author of four books published by major publishers including business writing guide, Get to the Point! She is also a columnist on Inc.com

She has decades of experience in helping teams to write clearly and confidently. 

Her goal is to empower people to wield the power of words to create success.

To receive her monthly writing tips called Writamins visit www,WorkTalk.com

At the same site you can get your copy of Ten Tips for Communicating Effectively in a Fast-Paced World.

You can arrange a complimentary 30-minute call to explore communication issues in your organization. Select a time on her calendar

https://calendly.com/worktalk

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Excerpts from this conversation with Liz Danziger:

02:53

Yes, one thing is that they could know their purpose before they start and know their point before they start. My view is that most writing problems happen before a person starts to write. They happen in the thinking phase when people don't think about their purpose.

And that's why I'm so pleased to be on this podcast, your intended message, because that's exactly what the worktop trainings are about is having people be clear on their intentions, and then target their readers.

And so the first thing is to know your purpose and your point. The second thing would be to think about your reader it astonishes me sometimes, how people will just sit down and they're just tap it, tap it tap, but they're writing away.

And then if I stopped them in coaching or in training, and I asked them, so what do you think your readers interested in? And they're like, oh, that's an interesting question. So they need to think about the reader and they need to use clear language.

And the last thing I will say is, people have to reread before they send. It's a common common error that people just tap it tap and send without proofreading. And they live to bear the consequences.

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And the way to use email, when you have an emotional message to send is to send the person an email saying, There's something I need to discuss with you, are you available next Tuesday at 1015.

That's how you use email when you have emotions. Because the emotional email will come back to bite you.

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And sometimes you can do some short, persuasive emails. I just want to backtrack a little bit and talk about when your topic, your theme, which is your intended message, which I just love.

And there are basically three main purposes that business documents have. And those are to inform, to request and to persuade.

If you look at every email you ever wrote, you will see that in all likelihood, it falls into one of those categories you're telling, you're asking or you're selling. And we need to know which of those we're doing in order to effectively convey our message.

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The Whole Message = Your Intended Message + The Unintended Message

Are you clear on the difference and interference between your intended and unintended messages?

Episode 133

In this episode, George Torok offers his insights about:

• What are the two blended components of the whole message?
• What are the filters that might distort your intended message?
• What is that static that can sabotage your intended message?
• What are the elements that generate the unintended messages?

George Torok is a specialist in communication skills. He coaches executives to deliver their message more successfully. That might be in conversation or presentation.

Learn more about his programs and the results of his clients at 

https://www.speechcoachforexecutives.com/

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Excerpts from this episode:

Today, let's look at the title of this podcast, your intended message. That is part of the message that you send. When you send a message.

Did you know that there are two distinct parts not so distinct, mixed together within your message, your whole message is actually a blend of your intended message and the unintended messages. Let's look at the challenges of both. And once you are aware of these challenges, you can deal with them more effectively, and communicate more successfully. Start let's start with the intended message.

The intended message, of course, is the message that you want to send you hope to send and you believe you sent. However, it's not necessarily the message that was received and understood. And you can probably guess why is that the case? Well, here's four possible reasons why your message might not get through the intended message might not get through one.

Perhaps you failed to clarify your message before sending. And this is a common mistake when it's more common when speaking than writing, we can do it in writing. The good news about is when you write a message, you have time to review and edit before you send. And if it's a particularly thorny message, you might be wise enough to write it, review it, put it aside for a day and come back to it the next day where you can review it and edit and maybe not send it at all.

However, when you're speaking, the danger is you don't have the opportunity to edit unless you have prepared and rehearsed this message that you are delivering, which I suggest you do whenever you can.

So perhaps the first reason why your intended message doesn't get across is maybe you simply failed to clarify your message before sending clarify your message before you start speaking. And that might mean pausing and thinking before you speak.

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To you, it's a mess. To me, it makes sense. And your head. What's going on your head makes sense to you, because you've had all your life to get used to the mess in your head.

And when you want to send a message, you need to take that message in your head, convert it into words, speak the words, they hear the words and convert it into the mess in their head, there's a couple of translations going on. Good opportunity for things to go wrong. And one of the areas of things might go wrong, is the filters that we use, to that we put your message through before we even consider it.

And the filters, we have filters, we filter your message because we are bombarded by messages every day. And we need to make quick decisions. And sometimes those filters work against you getting your intended message across.

What are some of those filters? Well, the first one is beliefs. What are the beliefs that they have? The beliefs they have about you, your company, your organisation, the group you hang around? When what beliefs the topic, your topic, you're talking about that you're telling them? What do they believe? How do they believe differently? And are you addressing those beliefs? Are you clarifying the message,

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Your host is George Torok

George is a specialist in executive communication skills. That includes conversation and presentation. He’s fascinated by way we communicate and influence behaviors. He delivers training and coaching programs to help leaders and promising professionals deliver the intended message for greater success.

 

Connect with George

www.SpeechCoachforExecutives.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/georgetorokpresentations/

https://www.youtube.com/user/presentationskills

https://www.instagram.com/georgetorok/

 

For weekly tips to improve your presentations visit

https://toroktips.com/

 

Write Your Book: Michael Levin

You can publish your book with a ghost writer

How do you know if it's time to publish your book?

Episode 132 (Michael is based in New Jersey)

In this conversation with Michael Levin we explore:

• Recognizing if you are at the right point to publish your book
• Why a book is an interim report and not a final report
• Your message must be of value to your readers
• How your book can shift the narrative
• Why a thought leader must publish their book
• The 90-minute book plan
• The benefit of independent publishing

About Michael Levin:

Michael is a New York Times bestselling author and is the most prolific and experienced business ghostwriter in the US publishing industry.

He has written more than 20 legitimate national bestsellers and multiple number bestselling books for his clients.

To explore working with Michael to write your book, you can call him at

617-543-3747

Learn more at his website: https://www.michaellevinwrites.com/

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Excerpts from this conversation with Michael Levin:

Books are magic

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The first chapter is about the readers' problems

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03:02

Writing a book for yourself is one skill. But then the other skill is writing it as a ghostwriter. Putting someone else's ideas into words. What mental shift do you need to make when you go into ghostwriter mode?

 

03:22

Yeah, that's a great question. George, I met Amy Tan, I actually shot pool with Amy Tan, it's a long story. And she she wrote the kitchen, God's wife and the Joy Luck Club and a lot of other best selling really important books.

She says that whenever she was getting into a different character, she would look at her shoes. And just imagine she was physically in the shoes of the other character.

I don't really look at my shoes. But I do think a lot about what's this person's worldview? How do they grow up? What did they see that I haven't seen? How do they express themselves?

And I'll study the transcript of the call because that's going to give me clues as to their syntax, and how and then their word choice, their mode of expression. Do they like short sentences? Do they go on as I am now.

And you put that all together? And it's sort of a mimicry skill combined with the ability to write writing someone else's voice and put material together, you put that all together and and you can generally find your way into somebody's voice. I mean, I've been doing this long enough.

So I've been doing this for 30 years. So you know, this is what I do.

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Yeah, so I'm hearing there, that one possible sign or signal that you might be ready to write a book is when you're going through a major change in your own growth, own development?

 

09:34

Yeah, that's true. That one of the times to write a book is when you're about to make a great leap forward in your career and you want the world to understand who you are, as opposed to seeing the world seeing you as who you've been.

And then at the same time, there are other folks who are most of the most of the people I work with, as I said, they're already successful.

And they just simply they want more, you know, they want more clients. They want more assets under management. They, they want more fame, they want their brand to be out there in a bigger way.

They want it to be easier to acquire new clients, they don't want to have to, you know, get out there and speak or hustle or do all that they want the book to do the work for them. And that's what books do.

Books are magic. I always say that, when you do a book magic happens, you cannot predict from which direction the magical calm or what it will look like. But time after time after time, the results for the clients are indeed magical

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Networking, Connecting & Giving: Larry Kaufman

Build a stronger support system by connecting and giving to others

Build life-changing relationships from college to retirement

Episode 131 (Larry is based in Chicago)

In this conversation with Larry Kaufman we explore:

• Recognizing the value of a strong and supportive network
• How to build stronger connections by giving and open to help others
• Understanding that there are many forms of giving
• Distinguishing your inner circle from your outer circle
• How to start the conversation if you are in career transition
• How to handle a person who is only a taker

About Larry Kaufman:

Larry is the author of the best-selling book, The NCG Factor - a Formula for Building Life-Changing Relationships from College to Retirement.

He is a connector, giver and rainmaker who lives his life to help others.

Larry is the Managing Director for the Midwest Region at Jefferson Wells.

Learn more about Larry at the website www.Kaufman-Larry.com

 

Learn more about the book, on Amazon.

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Excerpts from this conversation with Larry Kaufman:

It's really getting to know people, more authentically learning about them, and finding ways to be a connector and a giver.

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04:32

So that concept of giving could be as simple as connecting someone to a better source a better resource?

04:41

Right! Because I'm not always the best resource. You know, if you if you needed, you know, someone to fix the electrical in your house. I have to refer you to some people, my network, we're going to be without power.

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07:38

It does. I don't give with expectation for the GET. And if you do, you're doing it wrong. However, I've been very giving and it's very fulfilling. I enjoy it.

Like it's it's a big thrill. It's euphoric, when I hear back, Larry, this connection led to a job or helped my charity or did this for me and my family.

But sometimes you will need that favour George, you'll need it for a family member for yourself. And it's those people, you know, those in transition with a job that never built a network, they were working 70 hour work weeks, all sudden, 20 years later, they're out of a job.

They're like, I don't have a network. And they're asking people they don't know for favours and they're like, I don't really know you. And so I can help my children, my spouse, those in my inner circle, outer circle, I have built a great network.

And usually it's not for myself that a call on those favours. It's for other people that need help.

But I have needed favours you have to read the book to read about a favour I called in for my son but it really is important to build relationships because you can't do the Godfather ask for that favour. Someday I'll need that favour.

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15:08

So you don't necessarily need to be emailing them every week or every month, if the relationship ended on a strong positive, there's a pretty good chance is still that strong positive?

 

15:24

Yeah, because I've reached out to people, and I got them a job five years ago and said, Hey, Mary, I need your help, Larry, whatever you want, you know, I'm in my job because of you.

Well, you know, I didn't get them the job. So I could call them later for a favour. But I know when I call them, it's like, hey, we pick up where we left off. And so it's, it's wonderful. It's hard to keep in touch with 1000s of people. But, it happens, it happens naturally, or unexpectedly, and it's good.

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Your conscious vs. your subconscious: Vince Poscente

Is your conscious and subconscious on the same team?

What is the path out of chaos?

Episode 130 (Vince is based in Dallas)

In this conversation with Vince Poscente we explore:

• Recognizing the conflict between your conscious and subconscious
• Why you must resolve that conflict before you can pursue success
• How to face an earthquake in your personal life
• Understanding the role of fear and how you might harness your fears
• Creating your own solution loop to escape the earthquake
• Appreciating the value of an outside perspective

About Vince Poscente:

Vince is a New York Times best selling author of eight books including his latest, The Earthquake.

He is president of Board Developer providing sound advice for high growth companies.

You can learn more about Vince Poscente and order his latest book at 

www.VincePoscente.com

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Excerpts from this conversation with Vince Poscente:

There is no linear way out of chaos.

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But to answer your question about the earthquake, sometimes we experience a personal earthquake, where we're incapacitated, or we're catatonic or just paralysed by fear of maybe it's bankruptcy, maybe it's divorce, maybe it's a health scare, maybe it's losing a child. I mean, these personal earthquakes that can add absolutely devastate us can create this environment of chaos.

And therefore, how do you get through that chaos? How do you get unparaandlysed and move forward? How do you engage in that way?

And so I'd taken from my own personal financial earthquake, and then turned it into another parable about the ant and the elephant experiencing an earthquake at the very outset of the book, and then how do you get out of this, this chaos? What is this way to get there?

And so that was the challenge of the book.

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08:35

Well, here's a fact.

When you run away from fear, it gets larger. When you run towards fear, it gets smaller.

And that is not part of our human experience. Is it like if you run towards something, it gets bigger normally, but fear is insidious. It is. And it's, it's, it's obviously when you get in the middle of it, the reason it gets smaller, you go, Oh, I can handle this, you know.

So those fears, correlate to being able to kind of go against your instinct, which is to run and hide, right? Because there's a part of the brain called the amygdala.

And the amygdala is the oldest part of the brain. And it's quite small about the size of a walnut but that's the gatekeeper for thought, meaning that if you can't get past the amygdala, meaning let's say there's a tiger in the bushes somewhere, right?

The amygdala is going to kick in to do one of three things. It's going to either freeze. That's the first instinct.

The second instinct is to flight to run away. And then the third instinct which would kick you gotta get past these three.

The third one is to fight right so freeze think of a rabbit in the in a field right a little bunny rabbit, and here's a predator, right? What does it do? It first freezes and it just looks around and hopefully you don't see me you don't see me they don't see any. If the predator sees the little bunny, the bunny is going to take off, right?

And then if it's cornered, it's going to rear and then fight, okay, none of those three responses as part of this human condition is to is going to be efficacious, there's going to be very little progress made if you freeze, flight or fight.

So, the hack, by the way, in case you're wondering, let's say you get scared going on stage, speaking to a bunch of people. The reason you've had a bad experience in the past and don't want to do it, again, is that you forgot to breathe, you're not breathing.

And that's trigger for the amygdala, the trigger for the freeze flight or fright flight, or fight freeze flight or fight is to, is to lack of oxygen flow, which is shallow breathing.

So when you're scared, let a scary movie, just notice what your breathing is. It's like it's shallow. It's Oh, no, what's right, and that is triggering the amygdala.

Now it's very safe in a movie theatre to just be there. But if in real life, you're in any of those three states, you're not going to make progress. In fact, the opposite is gonna you're gonna get hurt, something's going to, you know, create a truth in the subconscious mind that this is not a good feeling, but maybe it becomes something like a lack of deserve ability, or there's all sorts of dysfunction that can happen from fear taking hold.

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Quiet Quitting and the Alternatives: Chris Tuff

In your job what fires you up? What sucks?

Why both are part of your work and how to find the right balance?

Episode 129 (Chris is based in Atlanta, Georgia)

In this conversation with Chris Tuff we explore:

• What is the right balance of work you love and work that sucks?
• How the different generations view work differently
• Why the grass isn't always greener elsewhere
• What does work flexibility mean and how is it changing?
• The value of more constructive feedback
• How to develop authentic connection with the team
• How to be nice and still fire someone

About Chris Tuff

Chris is the author of "Save Your Asks" and "The Millennial Whisperer".

Through his energy, humor and storytelling, Chris demonstrates how connection can accelerate business growth as well as recruitment and retention.

Learn more about Chris at the website www.ChrisTuff.me

Books by Chris Tuff

     

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Excerpts from this conversation with Chris Tuff

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There is nothing worse in life than complacency.

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So 70%, generally speaking, of your job should actually fire you up and actually put this into tactics where on the first week that someone joins my team, I will have them take their job description and figure out what's in your 70% zone of excellence and fire you up.

And then what's in your 30% zone of suck, right? Because the harsh reality, and I tell this to anyone willing to listen is that 30% of all of our jobs are gonna suck.

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I went into an organization that had, okay, so they have 100,000 employees, but 2500 HR leaders, all right, which will give you perspective to just how much they put in their people and culture 2500 people.

And so I dissected their data we did, we spent two months prepping for this meeting. And it all came down to just one big takeaway, which is just make it easy, everyone loves it here.

But you make it so hard for people to actually move laterally to other parts of that organization. The simplest thing you can do is allow people to make those lateral job moves, because people are not leaving, because you make it so difficult, because you end up prioritizing those, those jobs for people from the outside.

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Effective, authentic connection. How do you how do you know if it feels right?

So authenticity is one of the things that's so few and far between in this world and my whole platform is around authentic connection. And, you know, one of the things that I emphasize is what I call the art of the fly by.

And the art of the fly by is simply going by anyone on your team's desk and just saying, or, you know, in a hybrid workforce, texting them a video text message and say, George, that vacation you took last weekend look, epic.

Tell me more about it. Like, I saw that you hung out at the beach and tried out surfing, that's awesome. Props to you. How did it go? Right? It's just taking a little bit of that vested interest in their daily lives,

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Convey Your Message with a Short Book: Mike Capuzzi

If you have experience and expertise you can publish a book

Let's explore the magic of short books to boost your intended message

Episode 128 (Mike is based in eastern Pennsylvania)

In this conversation with Mike Capuzzi, we explore:

• Why a short book can help your business differentiate from the competition
• Why a short can boost your career and help build your team
• Where do you start when planning a book
• Why a short book is better than a long book
• How do approach your book project
• The magic of short books and free books

About Mike Capuzzi:

Mike has written and published 19 books, including two Amazon @1 Best Sellers.

He has helped over 225 business owners, entrepreneurs and corporate leaders publish their own short books.

He started his career in engineering and shifted to marketing in 1994.

Grab the offer of three free ebooks about the magic of publishing short books here https://mikecapuzzi.com/magic/

 

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Excerpts from this conversation with Mike Capuzzi

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The thought is always about serving the reader first

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I think most of us are short on time, or at least we appear to be, therefore lets appreciate it - this idea of a short book that can be read in an hour or so.

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About two thirds of our clients are local business owners, the local retailer, the local physician, the local chiropractor, the local insurance agent.

And that person that woman, or man who writes that book, they typically want to be what I call five mile famous, they want to be the number one chiropractor, the most sought after Dentist, the you know, insurance agent who's known for XYZ, whatever it might be.

So they're not looking to be a worldwide phenomena, they are looking to be an established authority in their community.

So for them, it's really about being different than their competition. Each one of those types of business owners has a ton of competition, most of their competition, if not all have never written a book.

So right there differentiates them. So being five mile famous for the local business owner is definitely one of the biggest benefits.

For the corporate leader, the entrepreneur, the business owner, like myself, who has a worldwide audience, we have clients all over the world, it's a bit different, it is more about establishing your authority, your expertise on a worldwide level doesn't necessarily mean speaking, though. I have spoken on stage several times over the years.

But it's really about being a credible source of podcast guest, you know, immediate interview potential prospect for media.

And it's really about using your book to establish that expertise, that authority, that credibility.

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Professional Service Firms, Polish Your Message: Sandra Bekhor

You communicate on many channels and must get it right every time

How do you manage the emotional messages?

Episode 127 (Sandra is based in Toronto)

In this conversation with Sandra Bekhor, we explore:

• The communication challenges of professional service firms
• How to polish your customer service messaging
• How to handle angry customers
• The importance of modern thinking and adopting the scientist mindset
• Why start with scripts and how to use them
• How to make promises that you can fulfil

About Sandra Bekhor:

Sandra is the subject matter expert for the comprehensive, "Marketing for Architects" course offered by the Royal Architectural Institute of Canada.

Bekhor Management provides strategic and authentic practice development coaching for small to mid-sized professional service firms.

Learn more about her services at www.Bekhor.ca

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Excerpts from this conversation with Sandra Bekhor

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Communication isn't one thing. So just because you're great at doing your presentation, your pitch to your client, well doesn't mean that you know, how to give someone feedback.

And it doesn't mean that you know, how to handle conflict. Right. So, there are so many different aspects of communication.

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So you have to write a script. And that's your starting point.

And then practice it with situations that are safe. And then eventually you do learn that language that is authentic to you.

So that when you go into the real world, and and use the script, and it's just a starting point, it's not that you're going to stick to that language Exactly. But you will actually feel bolstered.

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So your renovation firm doing some renovations on the house. And I'm on the phone with you and say well...

I thought you were going to your people were going to show up on Monday, and it's now Tuesday afternoon and they still aren't here and I didn't get any calls.

What the hell's the matter with you people?

 

09:36

Are I'm going to jump in here as Samantha. Oh, George, I am so glad you told me this happened. You know, this week, things have just gotten out of control with people being sick and having family emergencies.

And I didn't realize that this happened this morning. I don't know how I will fix this for you. But just give me an hour. I'm going to check in with my team and I promise to call you back in an hour.

And then we will discuss what what we can do about this.

10:15

Okay, now I'm calm.

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18:22

Ah, wonderful. See? And again, you you, you calm the situation. And you didn't over promise you didn't make excuses. And you pointed out I don't know, I'll have to find it and get back to you. And sometimes that's good enough.

 

18:41

You know, this is such an interesting point. Most professionals are scared to say I don't know. And it's actually a secret weapon.

Just Just remember that people calm down when they see your own. I don't know, transparency.

You know, if you say I don't know, it doesn't mean your failure. It doesn't mean you're not good at your job doesn't mean that you're not smart. It means you don't know this exact moment, that specific very thing.

And you're making a promise that you will go find out for the person who does know, and you will get back to them.

You didn't lose anything in admitting that you don't know. In fact, the person calmed down, because you said that instead of pretending, pretending that you know something that you don't know, which would have made it worse.

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From Technical Expert to Leadership: Susan Schwartz

Be emotionally intelligent to lead motivated teams

When you lead, you can't be the smartest person in the room

Episode 126 (Susan is based in San Francisco)

In this conversation with Susan Schwartz, we explore:

• Making the transition from star performer to team leader
• Developing an insider code when working with different personality types
• The difference between emotional intelligence and emotionally intelligent
• When technical expertise encounters the challenge of leadership
• Building the team by delegating responsibilities and developing skills
• The leaders' dirty little secret about leading

About Susan Schwartz:

Susan is author of, Creating a Greater Whole: A Project Manager's Guide to Becoming a Leader. It's the main textbook for a Project Management Communication course at Georgetown University.

Susan developed an Expert to Excellence leadership program that uses practical, measurable Emotional Intelligence methods that help people understand intangible leadership skills and create tangible action plans

Learn more about Susan and her programs at

expertisetoexcellence.me

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Excerpts from this conversation with Susan Schwartz

Emotional intelligence is about observations and behaviors

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And what happens when a technical person is promoted for their expertise. And all those years, they spent honing that knowledge. They've had a mindset, that's all about them.

What is their expertise, people come to them. They are the expert. When you get promoted to be a manager or a leadership role, all of a sudden, it's not about you.

It's about them. And that's awfully scary because your performance evaluation is not based on what you achieved. Your performance evaluation is based on what the people who work with you or for you, and perhaps even partners outside of your company.

So you have to really start paying attention to them

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07:00

Right. And you've got to delegate. That's perhaps the one of two most important skills because you're so busy doing their job, you can't do your job till after five o'clock.

You can't get promoted if you're busy doing your people's work, because you are so very important. And nobody else can do what you can do. That can't possibly promote you, because you're too valuable in your current role.

 

07:31

And I heard of a pearl of wisdom there that I want to repeat for people, if you are a leader, a team leader, a manager, if you're the only one that can do the job, then you aren't doing your job.

If you're the only one who can do what it is that your your department your team delivers, then you're really not doing it properly. Because you're not the manager, you think you're still the star.

And your success is dependent on their success. And so that comes back to you have to start being open, and realize that your success is by giving people professional development, helping them grow.

And that's the second piece of the puzzle. And this is why I love the name of your podcast is these new, expert knowledge experts transforming to leadership role, sometimes have difficulty assuring that the message they intended is received as they intended.

And because how often I've done it a lot of you sure you've done it altogether. That's not what I meant. And it still happens to me today. And it's not what I meant.

Because you you just made an assumption that they think exactly like you think. So if you're explaining it in your terms, of course they should know it. And then you end up getting frustrated doing it yourself.

And then people leave, because they're just humiliated. They think they're stupid. And then because you're not your message isn't being received as you intended. And you get frustrated because they're not smart enough or fast enough. So then you take it back and you do it yourself.

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