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Better communication skills will advance your career and business. Are you ready to enhance your understanding and results from better communication? Listen to learn how to deliver Your Intended Message. Are you willing to cross-examine communication from various perspectives? Would you like to deliver your intended message more effectively? Listen to Your Intended Message to gain a powerful advantage in your ability to convey your message to your audience, team, clients or marketplace. Learn from the mistakes and success of communication experts from around the world from different scenarios. Imagine what that means to you when you improve the success of your next conversation, presentation or message.
Episodes
Tuesday May 09, 2023
Tuesday May 09, 2023
What does a bunch mean to you?
When you hear the word, what do you think?
When you say it, what do your listeners think?
Welcome to Weed Words, the weekly micro tip on words to avoid so you can have more credibility when you speak.
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Hey, I got a bunch. Do you want to buy a bunch? How many bunches do you want?
How excited do you get when you hear the word - bunch?
How do you think your clients or team feels when you talk - bunch talk?
Do you provide a bunch of products or services?
Are you proud of the bunch of options you offer to you clients?
Are you asking your team to generate a bunch of ideas?
What are you trying to say? What do you want people to think, see or feel when you say that?
What’s a bunch? Go ahead. Think of a bunch. What comes to mind?
Bananas. What else? Grapes, flowers
When you talk to monkeys how can you get them excited? Say “I’ve got a bunch for you.”
When you want to score with that attractive monkey, simply coo, “Come up to my place, I’ve got a bunch.”
When talking to humans about a bunch, they’ll recognize that you want to date monkeys.
Say bunch to humans, and they’ll think, Oh you’re not talking to me.
Let me introduce you to my monkey.
And don’t try to dress it up by calling it a whole bunch, a big bunch or bunches.
Instead, toss the bananas and find words that are clear and descriptive:
You provide an assortment of products or services.
You’re proud of the selection of options you offer.
You ask your team for a dozen ideas.
Be clear and descriptive.
Keep the bunch talk for monkey-tinder.
Beware of the weed words.
Listen to these Weed Word Alerts every week. Then listen to the latest episode where we explore aspects of business communication skills.
George Torok
Watch the Weed Word videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahi1kt3n4g0&list=PLE0OVNUcJBI7KHEm4YyhhNQLuo10hUzjj
our host is George Torok
George is a specialist in executive communication skills. That includes conversation and presentation. He’s fascinated by way we communicate and influence behaviors. He delivers training and coaching programs to help leaders and promising professionals deliver the intended message for greater success.
Connect with George
Thursday May 04, 2023
Thursday May 04, 2023
Boost your productivity with less distractions
What if you delayed checking your messages for at least 20 minutes?
Episode 148 (Ann is based in Toronto, Canada)
In this conversation with Ann Gomez we explore:
- What is the warrior mentality and how can you apply it to your work?
- Why are distractions so addictive and so damaging?
- The conversation you need to have with yourself and then your team
- Why being brilliant and driven can work against you?
- Three challenges that overcomplicate our day and how to address them
- A hack to have shorter meetings and end on time
- The power of short bursts of focus
- Assessing the urgency and best channel for the message
About Ann Gomez:
Ann is the founding president of Clear Concept Inc., an international training organization. Her latest book is, Workday Warrior: A proven path to reclaiming your time.
For almost 20 years, Ann and her team have been training the world's busiest people to thrive at work.
Learn more about Ann and Clear Concept Inc, at
Learn more about her books at
https://clearconceptinc.ca/books/
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Excerpts from this conversation with Ann Gomez:
03:29
Okay. So the first step is to clarify what is most important, too many people are trying to do too many things. I was one of those people for many years.
So what I hear is people say, Oh, I have too many priorities, I don't have enough time to go around. And and it's true that most people are spreading themselves too thin.
And so this obviously is a conversation you'd want to have with your your team with your leader, to make sure you're all clear on the core priorities. But it's really important to know what your top priorities are and what your future priorities are.
And there's a difference here. There's a ton of great ideas out there. There's no end in sight of things we can spend our time on, we just need to define what are we doing now versus later.
And that later could be a week from now a month from now a year from now, like you decide what's appropriate for you.
But in terms of core priorities, there's a magic number of three, three core priorities.
And this is not discrete tasks. This is project so one of my core priorities is serving clients and that I dedicated about half of my week to serving clients. It's a big category of work.
And I often have many clients on the go all wrap up one project to take on another so it's not like it's one task. There's multiple tasks in that core priority.
Right leaders often have their team as another core priority. Sales and Marketing might have business development activities as part of their core priorities. And this is not just one task. It's a bucket of work. It's a category of work.
But when we think about our work in that way, we start to get more strategic But what we're saying yes to right now. So that's the first thing to be clear on your top priorities.
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05:43
So the second step is to combat this not enough time syndrome that so many of us have. And the strategy is to pay yourself first.
So once we know what our core priorities are, then we want to block that time in our calendar before other things get in the way.
So we've heard this concept, pay yourself first with financial resources. Now we're applying that same principle to our time, our limited resource, right? As you said, Can't make more time we get our 24 hours.
So how are we spending it. And so we want to be very proactive about building routines around our core priorities, and then leaving the leftovers for all of those other things.
So for example, protect focus work time, most of us need to have time for independent work that doesn't include email, chats, informal conversations, like independent work, to build a document, edit, and a spreadsheet, whatever that may be.
And so we want that time to be uninterrupted when our alerts are off, minimize email, minimize, chat, whatever it may be, close our door and focus.
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Tuesday May 02, 2023
Tuesday May 02, 2023
In my humble opinion
When you hear this phrase what do you think? How do you feel about the speaker? Are you eager to hear a humble opinion?
Do you feel that they are truly humble? Do you believe that their opinion is valid? Do you prepare yourself for a less than humble opinion? Do you think, Who asked for your opinion?
The words humble and opinion do not belong in the same sentence. Put them together and warning bells ring in our heads.
When I hear this phrase, the question that pops up is “Are you expressing your opinion or are you pretending to be humble?”
If you are truly humble, why are you expressing your opinion? A humble person doesn’t express an opinion. They keep their mouth shut.
I imagine that your humbleness doesn’t compare to the Dalia Lama. He doesn’t claim to be humble. He simply is. If you are humble, you don’t need to say it. We will recognize your humbleness by the way you speak and treat others.
So your claim to being humble is … what’s the word I’m searching for… weak, false, phony – a lie.
If you are humble why express your opinion?
If your opinion has value, why is it humble?
If your opinion is valid and is more than an opinion – why degrade it?
What I find curious and revealing is that this phrase doesn’t suggest that you are humble, instead it’s only this particular opinion that is humble. Other opinions might not be humble.
If your opinion is humble – don’t express it.
If you believe you must pretend to be humble because you don’t have faith in your opinion, shut up.
If you want your opinion to be taken seriously, don’t pretend to be humble and don’t call it an opinion.
Instead say, “Based on my experience…
Based on my research,
Based on my perspective
If you offer value, there’s no reason to fake humble. If your message is valuable, don’t give it crutches by calling it humble.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Beware of the weed words.
Listen to these Weed Word Alerts every week. Then listen to the latest episode where we explore aspects of business communication skills.
George Torok
Watch the Weed Word videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahi1kt3n4g0&list=PLE0OVNUcJBI7KHEm4YyhhNQLuo10hUzjj
our host is George Torok
George is a specialist in executive communication skills. That includes conversation and presentation. He’s fascinated by way we communicate and influence behaviors. He delivers training and coaching programs to help leaders and promising professionals deliver the intended message for greater success.
Connect with George
Friday Apr 28, 2023
Friday Apr 28, 2023
The mind of a scientist and the passion of an entrepreneur
How to get people to understand your message
Episode 146 (Hasan in based in Munich, Germany)
In this conversation with Hasan Ibne Akram we explore:
- Why does an engineer need to be a T shape communicator?
- How does a scientist talk to investors and get the money?
- How engineers and scientists can communicate with business executives
- Why is empathy critical to effective communication and less stress
- How to develop your empathy as a skill set
- Stories, analogies and authenticity oh my!
- Managing your perspective to change your world
About Hasan Akram:
Dr. Hasan is a serial entrepreneur. He is a computer scientist working in the domain of Autonomous Vehicle Safety. He is passionate about high performance.
He is the author of The Million Dollar Monk, which examines high performance.
Train your brain to overcome brain burn-out and leverage more of your brain's power with the use of science-based training programs.
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Excerpts from this conversation with Hasan Ibne Akram:
Another amazing person that I have really tried to learn from him, who is an amazing communicator, and a scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Neil deGrasse, Tyson takes those concepts of physics, astrophysics, that you that only a handful of scientists will be able to read in their journals. And he sells it to everybody.
And that is an amazing way of communicating. The recent book that I'm almost done with, I'm about to publish is called a brief history of autonomous vehicle, because that's the domain I work in.
And I really try to follow Neil deGrasse Tyson, because the book is or everyone. And that's like communicating at that level. So that everybody understands, is really the name of the game.
Because there was one joke, somebody said that, you know, we have such a good professor coming in that he's so good that nobody will understand him.
But that's not a good professor, a good professor, is one that even the guests will understand everything.
Terrific reminder, interesting analogy. Yes, he's so good that no one will understand him. And that's not something that anyone wants to have said about themselves.
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I have to also train my people, don't give me the details, I only need three numbers because there are like 2000 things on my table. If I go to the details, there's no way I can.
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First. I would say empathize - empathy, empathy and empathy.
Empathy is really the key. Once you're able to empathize, the second part is if you're if you're a leader, you have to be precise.
And one very interesting thing that the difference between leader and a manager, your job is not to give a task of a leader.
A leaders job is to give a mission, and how can you articulate that mission and the vision with your team, and somehow li that mission and vision with their life mission and vision, using empathy?
That's the formula and a curious challenge for all leaders out there and definitely something worth working on.
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Tuesday Apr 25, 2023
Tuesday Apr 25, 2023
I just want to
When the person starts their talk with this phrase, how do you feel?
Whose interest are they speaking to? You or themself?
Does this make you feel valued?
Not me!
Why would you care what the speaker wants?
Why would the speaker believe you care what they want?
What would you listen to what they want?
The speaker isn’t talking for your benefit but for their own purpose.
It’s about what they want.
When you see this phrase in writing, often its proper English – I just want to
Notice there are three ts in that phrase.
What happens when the person speaks this phrase?
It mutates into I jus wanna
What was simply annoying, has become repulsive.
What happened to the letter t?
Why the street slang talk?
Why are they so lazy when speaking? Why is it so hard to enunciate the letter t?
I just wanna
How do you feel when you hear that phrase?
Do you feel special?
Do you feel that you are about to hear something profound?
Or are you already discounting what follows this gutter talk?
When I hear the word wanna – I’m reminded of guano. That’s bird poop.
The next time the speaker says, I jus wanna –
you might respond with “bird poop”. Now I know what you mean.
The easiest way to avoid sounding like poop, is to speak for the benefit of your listener and not for your self gratification.
We don’t care what you wanna.
Beware of the Weed Words.
Listen to these Weed Word Alerts every week. Then listen to the latest episode where we explore aspects of business communication skills.
George Torok
Watch the Weed Word videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahi1kt3n4g0&list=PLE0OVNUcJBI7KHEm4YyhhNQLuo10hUzjj
What are your suggestions for weed words?
Listen to these Weed Word Alerts every week. Then listen to the latest episode where we explore aspects of business communication skills.
George Torok
Watch the Weed Word videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahi1kt3n4g0&list=PLE0OVNUcJBI7KHEm4YyhhNQLuo10hUzjj
our host is George Torok
George is a specialist in executive communication skills. That includes conversation and presentation. He’s fascinated by way we communicate and influence behaviors. He delivers training and coaching programs to help leaders and promising professionals deliver the intended message for greater success.
Connect with George
www.SpeechCoachforExecutives.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/georgetorokpresentations/
Thursday Apr 20, 2023
Thursday Apr 20, 2023
Why is sustainable leadership critical to team success?
What is the science of effective leadership?
Episode 144 (Niels is based in London, England)
In this conversation with Niels Brabrandt, we explored:
- What is the science behind effective leadership?
- Why leaders must discard silly motivation phrases
- What are the tools of sustainable leadership and hence sustainable teams
- What is the difference between transactional and transformational world?
- Why is the role of an opinion critical to the team?
- How to lead in the hybrid workplace
About Niels Brabandt:
He successfully built and sold a business, so he speaks from real-world experience regarding leadership.
Unlike others, he did the scientific research on leadership which means that he has proof and evidence for his claims.
Niels not only practiced leadership in business but also in sports: he was a professional football (soccer) referee for decades.
Learn more about Niels and his programs at
Connect with Niels at
https://www.linkedin.com/in/nielsbrabandt/
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Excerpts from this conversation with Niels Brabandt:
Yeah, sustainable teams are part of that definitely a different team phase, which are probably known however, many people only connect sustainability to aspects like the environment or recycling and that is not the only aspect we need to talk about.
It's about employee retention. It is about focusing on your employees. But most importantly, we need people who know their craft, do a podcast as you do here without doing the research, how to do the tech how to do the audio, the video, the lighting, however, we often have people who became leaders basically either because someone else quit and they were promoted, or someone else thought they are a good leader and they will just pick or unfortunately quite often based on their network.
I don't want to pull out cronyism and nepotism here however in many cases people became leader because other people said I like you I know you and here you are with your leadership job if you do not know the scientific background if you do not know the tools, and I do not mean opinions.
I mean proper scientifically proven tools if you do not know them, there's no chance you can be a good leader some people have a bit more talent maybe a bit more empathy, a bit more approach to it naturally but that will not work in the long run.
You still need the proper tools and scientific evidence tells you if something works or not. No motivational or inspirational one line ever paid the rent or made a team go the extra mile for longer than probably 24 hours.
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The leader has to figure out because sometimes people don't know about these concepts, transactional transformation, and they don't have to know it's the leaders job to know that they have to figure out who in my team is transactional, who in my team is transformational.
Because we have a certain effect, which unfortunately, effect recruiting, people like to recruit people who are exactly like themselves. It's called isomorphism, ISO Greek for equal more for parents.
So when someone is exactly like you, you prefer to work together with them. However, when you are a transformational leader, you have a transactional job to give away, you hire a person who prefers to work transformation, because they are just like you.
They probably quit within the first couple of months, because they will say, look, I was looking for something where I have time on my own, and I can decide and steer people and lead people, you basically gave me a repetitive task to do every single day that's complete.
So it's very important, the leader has to figure out who is transactional, and who is transformational.
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Tuesday Apr 18, 2023
Tuesday Apr 18, 2023
Welcome to this series of mini reports about the words that can sabotage your intended message.
We expose the Weed Words that get in the way of your message. Listen in to learn about these rascals and how to avoid these mistakes.
These alert will usually be less than two minutes yet offer value tips in a fun way.
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Are you talking to me?
Are you talking to me?
Did you want me to listen to what you say?
If you want me to listen, then say something worthwhile.
Do you want me to listen to every word or only the important words? How will I know the difference?
Will you deliver a clear message – the one that you intend to deliver?
Or might you obscure it with words that confuse, clutter and cloud your intended message?
How hard are you going to make me work to decipher your message?
Are you going to speak and then say, Well, you know what I mean?
No, I don’t. I only know what I believe I heard.
Did you consider that my perception of your message might be vastly different from your intended message?
Why might that be? Perhaps you peppered your speaking with filler words, trigger words or vague words.
Did you speak in code, slang or sloppy language?
We are judged by how our message is perceived. The core of our message is in the words we use. Those words can reinforce our message or choke it like weeds.
What are those Weed Words that you need to avoid? Listen to my posts so you can become aware of those weed words.
Imagine the difference when people listen to and appreciate all your words.
When you speak, deliver a clear and powerful message without the weed words.
Listen to these Weed Word Alerts every week. Then listen to the latest episode where we explore aspects of business communication skills.
George Torok
Watch the Weed Word videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahi1kt3n4g0&list=PLE0OVNUcJBI7KHEm4YyhhNQLuo10hUzjj
our host is George Torok
George is a specialist in executive communication skills. That includes conversation and presentation. He’s fascinated by way we communicate and influence behaviors. He delivers training and coaching programs to help leaders and promising professionals deliver the intended message for greater success.
Connect with George
www.SpeechCoachforExecutives.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/georgetorokpresentations/
Thursday Apr 13, 2023
Thursday Apr 13, 2023
Are you ready to better engage your workplace team?
What are the benefits of better engagement in the workplace?
Episode 142 (Paul is based in the Netherlands)
- How workplace engagement contributes to profitability
- Why core values and non-negotiables become more relevant
- Why leaders need to become better listeners
- How the pandemic and younger generations are reshaping the workplace
- Why people need a direction and purpose
- What's more important than money
- Why alignment is critical and how to create it.
About Paul ter Wal:
Paul says that core values are non-negotiable for Gen Y & Z.
Paul was President of the Global Speakers Federation in 2019-2020 and learned how to create stronger belonging via the internet.
Take the employee engagement survey - no charge
https://team-andare.com/employee-engagement-survey
See how you think your team is doing.
https://www.youtube.com/user/paulterwal
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Excerpts from this conversation with Paul ter Wal
You know your own core values, know your own non negotiables? Who are you? What are you standing for, then be sure that you are aligned with the core values, the mission and vision of the organization. Because that's the base. Walk your talk. If you can't walk the talk of the organization, you can't be a good leader.
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The advantages of having engaged employees are very important for profitability. So it's no longer Well, if you don't like it anymore, go away, we will find somebody else. Now the employer has to work on engagement to get the retention.
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Simon Sinek and Aristotle told us a long time ago that you need to find your why.
And I think younger people are much more aware of the question.
Why am I doing what I'm doing? Is that what really gets me fun? So yeah, it's it's not that they don't like the money.
But it was for a long time, the absolute number one, work hard, be successful be ribs.
Now it is seeking purpose, work hard, and maybe you will be successful. So what we teach older employees and older people thought after fighting wars, that we said, well, we need well being we need more money, we want to have more material.
They have it all. They have a car, they're have a house. So then the only stuff is not in material is not a money. It's more in why am I doing this? What is what is my purpose in life.
And I think that change too, because we became less religious, less connected to Protestant, Roman, Catholic, Anglican, communist socialist, we add those core values that were put upon us, by others in church or whatever, that's gone, especially in Europe.
It's gone. You need to find your own why. And I think that's one of the reasons that a lot of younger people have mental issues as well. They are looking for, why am I doing what I'm doing?
What is my purpose in life? Why am I here? And normally, the priest or the vicar will tell you why you were here. I think over the years spotted the genius at still now that changed. And that's what I see. I'm becoming much more aware of it.
That suddenly we want to know what our core values as negotiables are. And then it's Our individual core values. And that is connecting to your why.
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Thursday Apr 06, 2023
Thursday Apr 06, 2023
How to participate in more productive conversation
What must you do in the first minute?
Episode 141 (Chris is based in The Netherlands)
In this conversation with Chris Fenning we explore:
- How to structure your conversation before you speak
- How to clarify the conversation in your head from the spoken one
- The three step GPS model to frame your conversation like a story
- Why you might need to zoom in and out when discussing details
- How to use the validation checkpoint to ensure interest and timing
- Recognize the danger of your assumptions
About Chris Fenning:
Chris has written several books on business communication, including his latest, The First Minute.
Organizations that he teaches at include Google, Pepsi and NATO.
Chris has a goal to give away one million communication skills books to students around the world to help them prepare for careers in business.
Learn more about Chris Fenning, his products and services at his website:
Check out his book, The First Minute
https://www.chrisfenning.com/books/
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Excerpts from this conversation with Chris Fenning
We start at the beginning in our heads. And then we start talking, we're already partway through the chain of though. So the conversation begins in the detail.
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01:58
The first minute is a practical how to guide for how to be clear and concise when you start communicating verbally or written.
It's about planning and delivering that first minute of a corridor conversation, rather than meeting of an email, or chat or a meeting that you've got with your boss.
So how to structure that message so that you get to the point, make your intentions clear, which ties in nicely with your intended message, because it's all about making sure your intended message comes across clearly and concisely. And really make sense to the person or people that you're talking to.
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30:20
There's a summary of some of what I've said. and it's, it's this, never assume your team knows what you're talking about.
All the things we've talked about today about assuming people understand the context of the topic, or I thought my intention was clear, I didn't maybe not exactly say it, but it was obvious what I meant.
All of those things. Never assume the team knows, always start from the beginning of the story. And do that zoom out.
So never assume that they know the context. Never assume they know the intent, make it clear why saying it.
Here's the topic we're going to going to talk about, here's why I'm talking to you about it. You need to take action, you need to listen to this information and work out if it impacts you.
Those sorts of things should be explicitly stated. And that by itself will remove a lot of frustration in teams, particularly the conversations that end up having Well you never You never asked me to do it. Yes, I did. I told you about this situation.
Well, you guessed but you've never told me that back and forth. Get really explicit. Never assume. Always. state very clearly.
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Thursday Mar 30, 2023
Thursday Mar 30, 2023
How to prepare for that critical job interview
Prepare for the standard and the unexpected questions
Episode 140 (Fatemah is based in Los Angeles, California)
In this conversation with Fatemah Mirza we explore:
- How to feel more comfortable with job interviews
- How to address those standard questions
- What "tell me about yourself" really means
- How to mitigate your red flags and time gaps
- How to tell enough without telling all
- Testing the fit between your personality and their culture
About Fatemah Mirza:
Fatemah started CareerTuners in 2010, through which she helps ambitious job seekers find, apply for and get higher-paying, more fulfilling jobs.
She helps job seekers take control of their job search. There are free resources about resume writing, Linkedin, salary negotiation and interviewing on the website.
https://careertuners.com/podcast/
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Excerpts from this conversation with Fatemah Mirza
The interview process itself is a key part of that. And that's something that a lot of people approach with, with trepidation. They're quite nervous, and they don't necessarily perform well. Why do you think they suffer so so greatly in an interview situation?
I think it's because you're putting yourself worth on the line. And that's really difficult for a lot of people, you're asking to be judged. And that's not fun. But if that's something you're struggling with, I recommend going out there and interviewing with companies that you just don't even want to work with. This will give you practice, you can even practice negotiating with them.
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I always wondered about the question. "Tell me about yourself". And I used to think that that was a lazy question. But then later I realized it's actually a brilliant question because people tend to answer it poorly. What did they do wrong? What should they do instead?
I think people tend to focus too much on themselves and their history as opposed to contextualize in what they've done to whatever the job is hiring for.
Transitions are so common now like transitioning from one field to another. So focusing too much on the field that you're trying to leave is not a good idea.
Even in that question. Tell me about yourself. You have to talk about, basically give the interviewer this message that I am the exact right fit for this position. I've been working towards this position my entire career history.
I have the adequate training for this position and I know the hard work that it's going to take for me to succeed in that position.
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You should ideally try to keep your answers to one to two minutes, you want to give the interviewer a chance to kind of mentally reset, because if you keep talking for too long, they might get disengaged, they only have a very limited attention span.
One to two minutes is about five to 10 sentences. And if you're like man, I'm really like short selling myself. I should be talking more about this once in a while. It's okay for one of your answers to be a little bit longer.
I could talk more about this if you like
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